"What If I Don’t Connect?" – Common Fears Before a Workshop
"What if I don’t connect?" "What if I don’t get an erection?" "What if no one likes me?"
These are very common fears before entering any gathering or workshop. And they’re not wrong: these things happen. But the magic lies in making the decision to participate—you are also choosing to open your heart to failure, discomfort, and, in doing so, to vulnerability and growth.
The Power of Sharing Our Shadows
Sharing the most hidden parts of myself has always been a catalyst for transformation. I remember the first time I confessed my fears about intimacy with another man. I came out late and didn’t understand the unspoken codes. I admitted my lack of experience, my desire to learn, and my fear of being judged. Instead of rejection, I found understanding and compassion.
How Traditional Masculinity Shapes Our Sexuality
From an early age, many of us were taught what it means to be a "real man." Fearless, assertive, strong, aggressive, dominant—these were the expected values. And in intimacy, sexual performance and physical prowess seemed to be the ultimate measure of worth. Over time, the pressure to fit these roles created a gap between my true desires and the image I felt I had to project.
The Fear of Letting Go: From Anxiety to Authentic Pleasure
In my early experiences with male intimacy, I clung to control, driven by fear and insecurity. I followed the scripts I had seen in movies and magazines, and the idea of surrendering and letting go terrified me. But I learned that vulnerability is not weakness—it is the key to genuine connection.
Saying "I don’t know how to do this" is a fundamental step. As men, we often seek mastery—we learn how to build a table, fix electrical wiring, practice breathwork... and then we want to "master" tantra. We read books, practice Kundalini, attend tantra festivals. None of this is wrong, but intimacy is not just a technique—it is a lifelong journey.
The Practice of Intimacy: More Than Emotional Tourism
Like any muscle, the heart needs regular exercise. Practicing vulnerability once a year at a retreat is not enough. If we don’t actively train our ability to connect emotionally, we remain stuck on the surface.
Building Community: A Journey We Don’t Take Alone
Transformation doesn’t happen in isolation. Creating bonds, sharing experiences, and finding a community to grow with is essential. Like many, I grew up in an environment where being gay meant feeling isolated or only conditionally accepted. Finding a safe space where I could express myself without fear of judgment was one of the most healing experiences of my life.
The Gay Love Spirit workshop was a turning point, a place where I felt embraced and accepted for who I truly am.
Join Eros LAB: A Transformational Training
If you’re curious about exploring vulnerability, authenticity, and deep connection, I invite you to join Eros LAB, a training designed for men seeking to go deeper on their personal journey.
📅 Start Date: November 20, 2025
📍 Location: Cologne, Germany
🔥 Early Bird Price Still Available!
At Eros LAB, we don’t just talk about transformation—we live it. Through guided exercises, group dynamics, and embodied practices, we create a space where you can explore your desires, release fear, and connect authentically with other men.
💡 Are you ready to take the next step? Secure your spot now and begin your journey toward deeper, more fulfilling intimacy.
Still Unsure? Try an Eros LAB Teaser First!
If you're curious but not quite ready to commit to the full Eros LAB training, you can first experience a Teaser Workshop. These introductory events offer a taste of the depth, connection, and transformation that Eros LAB provides—giving you a chance to explore in a safe, supportive space before making a bigger commitment.
📍 Upcoming Eros LAB Teasers:
✅ Barcelona – 4th - 6th July 2025
✅ Munich – 11th - 13th July 2025
These teasers are the perfect opportunity to dip your toes into the experience, meet the facilitators, and connect with like-minded men before deciding if the full training is right for you.
🔥 Join us and take the first step toward deeper intimacy and self-discovery!
