What makes a young queer person embark on an intense journey with tantra and bodywork? What happens when touch becomes language?
Jojo is 40 years old, a doctor, and found his way to gay bodywork through yoga and massage. What drives him is a longing for a different kind of intimacy: tender, conscious, mindful. In this interview, he talks about how Summer Evolution and the Winter Eros Retreat changed him, what he learned as a helper, and why a place like the Vogelhof in the winter silence is exactly the right setting for deep encounters. Jojo shares his very personal experiences with us: from insecurity to insights to deep gratitude. An honest conversation about intimacy, responsibility, self-healing, and why queer spaces are so important for this journey.
Interview with Jojo about his experiences with Gay Love Spirit, Winter Eros 2024 & Summer Evolution
Artjom: Was this your first retreat or event with Gay Love Spirit (GLS)?
Jojo: No, I had already been to Summer Evolution. I also took part in a gay tantra group in Barcelona organized by an independent couple, and I often went to the Stretch Festival—that's actually how my journey in this direction began. But the Winter Eros Retreat was definitely the longest format I've done so far. And the fact that I was there as a volunteer gave the whole thing a very special vibe.
The path to the Winter Eros Retreat
Artjom: Please introduce yourself briefly and tell us how you came to the Winter Eros Retreat. What motivated you to book?
Jojo: My name is Jojo, I'm 40 years old and a doctor. I've been practicing yoga for many years, which led me to bodywork – especially with men: through massage, but also through topics such as relationships and sexuality.
It bothered me that gay sexuality often seems very fast and greedy. I long for something more tender and gentle – with a spiritual aspect as well. So I had already done a few workshops in Berlin and also attended Summer Evolution, which I thought was amazing.
For the Winter Eros Retreat, I had decided to dive deeper. However, I couldn't afford the retreat. But I'm a member of the website, so I just wrote to Thomas and asked if I could participate as a volunteer – and it worked! That way, I was able to be there and learn more about this work and myself at the same time.
The location: Vogelhof in winter
Artjom: How was the location for you – especially compared to Summer Evolution in Strausberg?
Jojo: The journey to Vogelhof was long – I drove six or seven hours by car. But the place was great. Very remote, lots of silence, old buildings with great energy. When I got out of the car, the first thing I noticed was the absolute peace and quiet. I've never experienced such silence in the Ruhr area.
The workshop room is in a separate new building, and there's another beautiful room upstairs under the roof. There's a sauna, which was almost always on in the evenings – a real luxury. And then, of course, there's the yurt, about 200 meters away from the main buildings. During Winter Eros, it was set up as a “Love Temple” – a place for retreat, encounter, physicality, tranquility, intimacy. I found it magical.
Differences between Winter Eros & Summer Evolution
Artjom: What would you say are the differences between the two retreats – also in terms of location?
Jojo: In Strausberg, I slept in a tent on a meadow between the house and the lake. The lake is of course a highlight in summer – being able to jump right in was wonderful. The location is a little less secluded than the Vogelhof, with a bit more infrastructure around it. That makes it a little livelier, maybe also a little more restless.
Vogelhof, on the other hand, is more peaceful. I slept in the small workshop room there, which also had its charm. The place was spiritually charged for me – quiet, clear, simply special. But both places are great for the work we do there.
What remains: experiences & emotions
Artjom: What do you remember most about Summer Evolution?
Jojo: It was something very special for me because, in terms of intensity, it was the most intense thing I've ever done. It took me a long time to really get into it – so much social interaction, so much intimacy in such a small space. I was there as a participant, and you have your “families,” which are groups of four or five people with whom you check in every morning. That was probably the first time I ever opened up emotionally like that. I cried a lot because so much of it touched me deeply. Being assigned to this “family” was a bit strange at first, but over time I grew to really appreciate it. It was an incredibly supportive space where I could really show myself.
Then I took part in several workshops, mainly massage workshops. I can't remember all the details, but I had many intense encounters with men. One situation in particular sticks in my mind: I was lying on a blanket with two people at the edge of the festival grounds. We cuddled, it was slightly erotic, but deliberately not sexual – it felt like a fountain of youth, just beautiful.
In the evenings, we often went to the sauna – which was hot, of course, and not just because of the temperature. I felt like I could play with closeness and distance, and at the same time I was challenged to set clear boundaries. That was really fruitful for me because it's a space where that's explicitly allowed and even encouraged. You can say, “Sorry, that's too close for me,” without feeling bad.
I also remember the singing bowls. Someone had brought some small singing bowls with them, and once I stood on the footbridge in a huge singing bowl – it vibrated so strongly that it just stuck in my mind.
Another experience was an encounter with a man with whom I had an incredibly energetic experience. We just hugged each other with our clothes on, and suddenly my pelvis “exploded” – and so did his. We then kind of crawled around each other – we never saw each other again after that.
Of course, there was also a dress-up evening with a party. There was a bit of alcohol, but everything was very respectful – I thought that was great. I have nothing against alcohol, but in moderation.
As I said, the workshops were intense, but I didn't participate in all of them. At the time, I still needed a lot of time to myself to process everything. Sometimes I just sat in my tent and reflected. But the whole festival was like a huge safe space. I was totally open, glowing inside – it was liberating. A really cool experience. I saw that reflected when I got home, too.
Artjom: What did you tell the people around you? How did you describe it?
Jojo: Haha, I said that I could really be myself there. I felt very much like I belonged. It was completely irrelevant whether you came across as more feminine or masculine – criteria like that didn't matter. You could be naked, you could be dressed, you could express your sexuality – or not. Incidentally, I hardly experienced any sexuality in Strausberg during the winter week. I found the charged sexual energy in the air a bit overwhelming at times. But overall, sexuality was simply integrated there, it was allowed to be there – and that alone was enough for me.
Artjom: Do you tell people around you about this? Your parents? Do you say, “I'm going to a gay tantra festival”?
Jojo: Haha, yes, of course I do.
Artjom: And how do they react?
Jojo: Well, people know me here. I have two brothers and a sister – all heterosexual – and I talk about it very openly. Of course, I don't tell anyone more than they want to know. I say, “I'm going to a gay retreat, a gay tantra festival, or something like that,” and if they don't ask any questions, I don't say anything more.
But I've talked about it a lot with my brothers. Interestingly, they take what I'm doing – or rather, what we're doing – really seriously. At first, they might say things like, “You just want to get laid,” but when I tell them a little bit about it, they realize that it's about much more than that. They know me, after all. And then they ask themselves questions like, “How do I actually relate to other people?” or “How consciously and mindfully do I do that?”
I often find these retreats to be psychotherapeutic. You confront your own conflicts and fears. Relationships are one of the existential pillars of our lives – and for many people, there are huge problems in this area. I think creating spaces like this is an absolute gold mine. And the people around me understand that too. Sure, sometimes they roll their eyes or say, “Oh, again?” but they definitely respect it.
Finding and strengthening yourself – inspiration for the queer community
Artjom: Thank you! You already mentioned that your decision to help out at the retreat was also influenced by external factors – namely, how others would react when you told them about it. There are a lot of prejudices, ignorance, and stigmatization surrounding this topic. But I think what you did sounds really wonderful. What was it like for you to be a helper? Were you busy the whole time, or was it actually nice because you could take a step back? Especially with such large groups – at Summer Evolution there are about 80 or 90 men at once, and at Winter Eros there were 35 or 45, I think. That's a lot. How did you experience this role in the midst of such intense group dynamics? What did you have to do, what were you allowed to do – and where did you feel comfortable?
Jojo: The role of helper was really right for me – I hadn't expected that we as helpers would be able to participate everywhere. I was there with another helper, and except for one situation – when there was an odd number of participants in a workshop – we were actually able to participate throughout. That was a pleasant surprise.
Our tasks were well distributed: every day we cleaned and heated the yurt, as well as the sauna. We made sure there was enough wood and helped set up the workshop rooms – especially the upper room, where I also slept. When something was happening there, we prepared everything accordingly or rearranged things.
So yes, there was definitely work to do, but it wasn't too much. We mainly used the lunch breaks, when the participants had time to recharge anyway.
For me personally, it was very helpful because it gave me structure. I was able to focus on the tasks at hand and always had a good reason to withdraw when I felt like it. At the same time, I felt needed—that I was doing something for the group. I thought it was really nice to know that we had heated the sauna and set up the yurt so that other people could have a wonderful experience there. It was a very warm feeling.
The work was never overwhelming, and we didn't have to get up super early. The facilitators were very understanding – there were regular check-ins to see if everything was okay. If something didn't work out, that was totally fine. I never felt criticized or overwhelmed. For me, it was a very well-rounded and valuable experience – and I would do it again anytime.
Artjom: What stuck with you in particular? Were there any encounters that touched you? How was the first week after the retreat for you, back in your everyday life?
Jojo: Many people say that after a retreat like this, they fall into a hole at first – because you feel so cared for there and the transition back to “normal” life is hard. Interestingly, that wasn't the case for me. I noticed that my life was already moving in a direction where I am more mindful of myself, take time for myself, and share tenderness with others.
One workshop in particular stuck with me: the chakra massage. It was offered as an alternative to a more sexually connoted workshop, and I intuitively chose the energy work. It touched me deeply – this subtle perception of how energy flows in your own body and in the other person, without necessarily leading to arousal or orgasm. It was a powerful experience for me.
I noticed that when I massage, I am completely grounded, completely with the other person – without losing myself. That gave me a lot of inner peace. And my partner probably felt the same way.
What I experienced at Gay Love Spirit is very inspiring for me. I'm on my way to becoming a specialist doctor and would like to work as a psychotherapist later on – but definitely with a strong focus on bodywork. This combination fascinates me.
Artjom: You've already got everything you need – just keep going, right?
Jojo: Exactly, it feels that way too. I can feel how much all of this has encouraged me to keep going. The Summer Evolution Festival a few years ago also set a lot of things in motion. When I compare myself to back then, in 2019, I was in a completely different place – much less open, much worse at recognizing my boundaries or communicating them clearly.
Now, at the Winter Eros Retreat, I was much better at setting boundaries in a timely manner – without drama or harshness, but with friendly clarity. I was able to say what I needed and was also better at handling rejection – even if it still hurts sometimes, of course. But I notice that this work is changing me, making me softer and more open – and this is also leading to new encounters that would not have been possible before.
And then there's a little, very real love story: Two months before the retreat, I unexpectedly got into a relationship. We had agreed that we wouldn't be sexually involved at first. At the same time, I was already scheduled to help out at the retreat. I didn't want to cancel – so I mentioned in the opening round that I was coming with certain agreements.
It was exciting to bring this relationship and its rules into the retreat. There was also another person there with whom I was in an open romantic relationship – that was common knowledge. And then I met someone else there who fascinated me greatly.
Keeping all of that going at the same time—staying connected to my partner at home, being honest about my feelings while I was there, maintaining my boundaries, and communicating openly—was challenging, but incredibly enriching. And the space at the retreat was just right for that.
Artjom: What would you say to someone who is considering booking one of the retreats but is still hesitating?
Jojo: Go for it. Whether it's summer or winter, choose whatever suits you best in terms of time and location. Don't be put off by what I describe here as intense – you can decide for yourself how deep you want to go. There is always room to set boundaries. I have experienced how safe the space is, even for people who are doing something like this for the first time. If you're open to interpersonal processes, it can be incredibly enriching – also in terms of your own healing and trauma work. Of course, if you're currently in an acute mental crisis, it might not be the right moment. But otherwise: yes, absolutely a great enrichment.
Artjom: Thank you. Is there anything else you'd like to share with the community?
Jojo: Yes. As a queer man, I struggled for a long time to find a place and meaning in society – beyond the traditional role models of family and children. What Gay Love Spirit does gives me exactly that: meaning. As queer people, we have something valuable to contribute – these spaces, this work, they cultivate something that has been lost in society. For me, that feels deeply meaningful and authentic. And I just wanted to say that—from the bottom of my heart.
Artjom: I can relate to that very well. Thank you for sharing that with us and for being here for the interview.
Room for growth: Why it's worth diving in
Whether as a participant or a volunteer, Jojo's journey shows how enriching it can be to engage in bodywork and community. His story encourages us to take our own needs seriously, communicate boundaries lovingly, and seek spaces for genuine connection.
If you're curious about how intimacy, healing, and sensuality can be reconnected, check out our upcoming events—maybe we'll see you at the next Summer Evolution Festival?
Link to the summer & winter retreats ? https://gaylovespirit.org/page/de/t/retreat
Find out more about the Summer Evolution Festivals here ? https://gaylovespirit.org/page/de/t/festival
